1.27.2012

Two become One



Sitting from my desk the sun cuts through my stretched out windows. Tangled with the winter wind, whispers of tempting heat. 


Let us make love again, creating spring.

Don't hold back from me. 



"A blue fly, if it clings to the tail of a thoroughbred horse,
can travel ten thousand miles; 
and green ivy that twines around the tall pine
can grow to a thousand feet.
I was born the son of the one Buddha, Shakyamuni ,
and I serve the King of scriptures, the Lotus Sutra."




ROOMMATES


1.23.2012

New Home

Officially settled down into my new home. 
The yard stretches its arms out down a hill into a steady stream. What fortune it is to have found a house near water! 
The most sincere contemplations can take shape while surrendering your self into the water. Just sitting there, listening to its laughter and taking in the reflection. 





It's a beautiful home and I feel so fortunate and blessed to be here, and to have NiƱa here with me. 
This year will be a year of establishing my freedom.
Breaking down the illusion of "freedom." 


Setting my heart free in the midst of confusion.










I'm sure all of us experience the weight of being human. This pressure put upon us from somewhere unknown to find our life purpose. To get that degree in something and find that job. Is that completely natural to have to settle in something outside of yourself, to pick one thing that defines your intellectual being? What if our soul is pulled in every direction, in complete balance? 


Triangles of connections to every planet and star. 






Beings of Light.











1.13.2012

Press Play




Meditation today kept me on track, centered in the midst of confusion. Bathed in light by my spirit guide, it was truly an opening experience. My journal is overflowing with thoughts; circles of memories intertwining themselves into my heart.  Nothing structured, just endless sparks of burning leaves in this snow. 



Song in progress -->



I met you before I saw you
Kissed your lips through the wind
A hummingbird passed
and whispered your sins
Memories from lifetimes ago
flooding my minds soul
Turn up the bass
and level the guitar
this rhythm needs a treble
unknown to many afar
The breathing of statues
radiating through
sending a colorful picture 
of life through truth

Can you feel it?
Focus!
Can you dream it?
Wake up!
Can you touch it?
Detach!
Is it you?

I forgot how much I missed your rhythm
and the color of your eyes
Speak loudly
for my mind is swimming through time
I found you again
through layers of light
Keep playing
Please, I cannot breathe without music
Each beat the breath of life
My veins the strings on your guitar
my heart
the drummers skin
Unfold me within
the pages of your notes

Can you feel it?
Focus!
Can you dream it?
Wake up!
Can you touch it?
Detach!
Is it you?

Please, don't say no.





1.11.2012

Light through Darkness


Mother Nature is changing and we as one with the earth will feel these changes too in our lives.  
 The warm January sun embraces the trees and the spirit of life overtakes the forest.























NiƱa
My Soulmate
Her tender heart feels at home when surrounded by nature, in sync with my own. 

























1.10.2012

Unfold Me




Memories and moments that I have destroyed burn their way through my soul.



They are flaming red, heated with passion and love. They are coal black, flaming with hate and anger. Nothing ends. Nothing ever ends. I have a thousand tattoos on my soul. Even if I remove them, there are scars. Scars that can never fade. The birth of spring hidden beneath winter pulses through these fallen leaves inside. They shake with change and their colors seem brighter than ever. Why do these moments keep changing colors? These leaves have lost their life and have fallen into the deepest of my being. 
How can they still be alive? 
I'm burning inside. 
I'm exploding from within.
Not with anger anymore though; with a pull onto my soul from the depth of the sky. Something bigger outside of myself calling my name. Settling down right now feels like death when change and movement is the breath of life.


The bitter shiver blows through the cracks in the walls. Even still, the sun is shining through, showing its everlasting beauty through the frosted wind. 
Today is a beautiful day. Life is absolutely breathtaking, thousands of folds to unravel. This year more than ever I need to establish my freedom. In the moment of fuzing my heart with my lover, a hidden piece will always be safe deep in the depths of my soul. Living together I know will be absolutely amazing but it is more important now more than ever to take control of my path. Keeping it separate and on point with my calling.


Which is what, exactly?
For I am light.


Amongst the walking dead.




CHALLENGE ME









1.09.2012

Clouds

If you are the dreamer, I am what you dream. But when you want to wake, I am your wish and I grow strong with all magnificence and turn myself into a stars vast silence. Above the strange and distant city.
TIME.


What would it feel like to dive into the clouds?
Would you arise soaked in rain?
Their solid appearance, would you break?
Bending between the seems of space,
the emptiness of air.
Above everything, it's all so small.
The reflections of playhouses stacked amongst the trees.
It's hard to breathe down there.
I'd like to pass through these clouds,
perhaps break but that wouldn't hurt.
For I am the clouds and the space within them.
Would I transcend into the light from the sun?
If so, I would cry.
To be a part of such magnificent beauty.
My heart would implode on itself with love.
Reborn into the universe.


Forested Heart

She walked into the dark forest, thick brush of whispering memories tried to hold her, caressing her with promises of death. Roses poked out of the black water, veins straight from the heart.
A hummingbird passed.
Fluttering with dreams and hopes of pure love.
The third eye opened and the heart exposed itself on a cliff, ivy thriving upon its pumping blood.
This space within, the forest that lives inside waiting to be explored. Dead trees amongst red roses.
Her lungs are still breathing, creating a rhythmic dance of step. We are human, what does that mean? In this dark world of misinterpretation. The walking dead flooding the streets, eyes closed. Trying to hold onto birth, the suffering of becoming. What beauty is there when your soul cannot speak?
With the loyalty of habit, growth yielded in a solitary heart. Embrace the emptiness within, each breath a violin.
BUT THERE IS NIGHT!
When most of the dead continue to sleep. The infinite space within opens itself for judgement. Every angle is paralyzed - waiting for a soul to dance in the black sky.
She's along inside.
Surrounded by space, not running anymore - just pressing away the dark sobbing. We are not really at home in our interpreted world.
The birds are aware. Isn't it time that we freed ourselves? Even from our beloved, quivering and scared.
A snap of release the bowstring lets her go. For there is no place where we can remain. There is no home outside of ourselves. We can hinder our souls from proceeding onward too easily, all sight ending.
An image enters in and rushes through arrested muscles, plunging into her forest heart and is lost amongst the leaves. Every time they change color her sight becomes more clear.
Illuminated in infinite space.


 The sky is moving fast
racing above me
in baby blue tones
The wind is a thin whisper
kissed across the sky
Beneath my steady balance, the cliff cracks
creating unsteadiness
I can taste the salt from the ocean
as it kisses me through the breeze
my reflection distorted
but the core
untouched
Where do I go from here?
Into the water?
My spine shakes slightly
chilled by the
shores embrace
endless space with open doors
Drawn in the healing direction
Slowly my feet hug the edge
and I fly
Spreading my wings
across the ocean
No longer bound

1.06.2012

Change



This morning the sun made love to the trees. Sitting on a fallen tree trunk I soaked in the love. Feeling the wind embrace me and the sky open up to my heart. Letting go of all the pressure, letting go of all the insecurities. Everything is falling into place the way its meant, even though it felt out of order. This new year brings new challenges which I am ready to take in. I know deep down that 2012 will bring new light and positivity. Shedding this snake skin of my past. There is no need to hold on to it so dearly when the present is filled with positive change. 

I received my Merlin Report (Astrolgoy chart of my birth. Day, exact time, place)

4/19/1989
11:05 AM
Hinsdale, IL

"Routine and sameness are like death to you. You are not afraid of trying something that's never been done before, and even though you may seem as a fool sometimes, you also discover, invent, and initiate things that others will later emulate. Taking risks and following your own star are the breath of life for you, and you wilt if you cannot do this. You would gain much by learning to slow down, relax, and just let things be sometimes, but your energetic, restless nature rarely allows you to do this. Something FEELS right, or it doesn't. You act on your feelings and emotions. Your mind never stops."

I could keep going, but its 18 pages long. It is so beautiful how the universe dances in the moment you come into life. The way the planets align when you take your first breath, the stars watching with intense curiosity. Everything aligned just for that single moment of life. The intense realization that we are so one with nature rides along the astrological study. 

"During this year you will benefit considerably from being around water. Every time you become tense or unbalanced, you should go to some place where you can be near water."

The river knows my pain.
The river knows my laughter.
My love.
My fears.
My passions.
My strengths.
My weaknesses.
My ambitions.
My spirit.
My heart.